Change

It’s hard to make a change.

God, I’m too stuck in my ways.

Out here catching plays,

Praying for them better days.

Can’t hang, I ain’t no slave.

I’m too busy getting paid.

Grams all on da plate.

Maybe one day we’ll be straight.

Tryna get fat so I’m out here pushing weight.

Momma like, “Behave before they throw you in a cage.”

She’d say, “you put yo mind to it one day you gon be great.”

Feds on da way, kiss her cheek and drop the gate.

Rollin’

Rollin’ down the street playing my tunes.

Got locked up, they said I’m not getting out soon.

Called my mom, said she was on her way.

She came at 11 but was just too late.

So you know what that means?

I had to stay another day.

The History of a Name

My name means “the Father shares the pain of birth” because my Daddy pushed Momma down the stairs when she was pregnant. My Pops was abused as a child. My Momma’s parents overdosed when she was young. She was an orphan and I grew up homeless, so I robbed a lot. Spent most of my life behind bars.

While I was locked up, somebody laced my brother, and no one really cared.

I take care of them however I can.

Summit

When I had no hope, I gave up on everything.

When I had nothing to give up, I took.

When I took all I had to take, I made it my summit.

When I had no summit, I lurked in them trenches.

When I got lost in the trenches, I was captured by the law.

When I was trapped in captivity, I made freedom my summit –

but then I realized I’d lost my summit and just closed my door.

I Want My Freedom

Incarcerated, feeling hated. Line up, put your hands behind your back, make sure your shirt’s tucked in with that. Got me feeling like a do needs to be smacked. Got a major, can’t do nothing, the whole week incarcerated. Got me wishing I was home with my family. Telling you to keep your head up, but it’s hard waking up doing the same thing, not making any back. Got me saying double-u-t-f. They threatening to take my points, well take ’em. I still go live it up. It’s just time.

Slam on Pain

Take me away from this place.

I ain’t never going home, and it drives me insane.

Free da gang, we’re going down in flames,

Cuz we’re still gon’ be locked in a cage.

Forget the law cause I refuse to be tamed.

Only reason I wrote this was to speak on the pain.

Everybody else just want to do it for the fame,

Wanna be fly but can’t trust a plane.

Wish I had love but love don’t know my name.

Never been dumb, crazy, or lame.

I pray to God – Don’t forget my pain.

For Akron

So what I think about my city…

Money, power, and filled with lust,

with no trust, just trying to get

their pockets fatter than ever

with me.

Babies raising babies, driving

young adults crazy, with no hope or future.

All they can say is that the streets raised me.

Single parents trying to do the best they can,

but it’s too late,

the streets became their best friends.

Listening to music before they lose it,

chillin’ with friends thinking why life has to end.

Thinking and wishing you had everything you wanted,

but it’s too late,

your best friend became your opponent.

Just trying to get what you want and need

the wrong way.

Just for a food and a buck.

Wish you could go back,

but it’s too late,

your best friend never had your back.

 

Letter to Self

You will make it.

Just work hard.

It’s like a painting,

take it one day at a time.

Don’t worry about people hating.

One day you will be somebody,

somewhere riding in an Audi.

Change gon’ come, just

gotta stop looking for love.

 

I love me. Who gon’ love me like me?

Deep thoughts drifting in the sea.

Been abused and hurt,

thought it was something like a curse

But it made me stronger.

No Mom, this pain,

I can’t take it any longer.

Dad broke my heart before

a boy could.

Tryna be something better

than just a girl from the hood.